Article 14: Analysis of the Causes of Decreased Libido in Middle-Aged Men and Strategies for "Sexual Happiness"

What makes you lose interest in sex?

Manager Gu, 38, faces heavy work pressure and frequent social engagements in the evenings, inevitably leading to smoking and drinking, causing his weight to spiral out of control. What troubles him most is the noticeable decline in his libido and sexual ability, often accompanied by anxiety, depression, poor sleep, and damage to his self-esteem. His wife suspects him of infidelity, causing tension in their relationship...

This is a typical case among countless middle-aged men. Despite being at the peak of their careers and work, men in their forties often find their libido gradually weakening and their sexual ability noticeably declining. Meanwhile, their wives' libido is growing stronger, and their sexual demands are becoming more frequent. Faced with their wives' passionate needs, these men feel helpless and confused: "Am I really not good enough anymore?"

Couples entering middle age often experience a "scissors difference" in their sex life. This is because libido is influenced by testosterone levels. Around age 40, men's testosterone levels begin to decline, naturally leading to a decrease in libido. However, women in middle age, with less housework and more sexual experience, can dedicate more energy to their sex life, often experiencing a "second honeymoon period" and a naturally increased libido. If this aspect isn't addressed properly, it can negatively impact family harmony and happiness.

Sexual desire is an instinct. When judging the reasons for a sudden decrease or disappearance of sexual desire, physical and psychological factors should be considered. Psychological factors mainly include anxiety, depression, and lack of acceptance of one's partner; while physical factors should be sought from certain diseases.

Anxiety: The burdens of career and family, tense interpersonal relationships, and emotional distress can all lead to decreased libido and reduced sexual ability in men.

Depression: low mood, self-deprecation, self-abandonment, setbacks, and hidden inner conflicts leading to a decline in willpower.

Hostility: Overt or covert hostility, such as discovering a partner's infidelity or rage over past infidelity, frustration due to lack of enthusiasm or being neglected, or hostility or antagonism arising from jealousy.

Organic factors that cause loss or decreased libido include various physical illnesses and medications, such as liver, kidney, or cardiovascular diseases. In these cases, low libido may not be as noticeable because the underlying disease requires more attention and treatment.

Furthermore, unintentionally formed unhealthy lifestyle habits further contribute to declining sexual ability. Studies show that long-term smoking leads to chronic nicotine poisoning, which can cause decreased libido and is a risk factor for reduced sexual ability; excessive drinking often leads to sexual inhibition or even loss of sexual ability, making it impossible to complete sexual intercourse.

Strategies for "Sexual Happiness" for Middle-Aged Men

Since libido can be influenced by internal and external emotional factors, it is crucial to remove inhibitory factors so that libido can be expressed for as long as possible. The best and most effective approach is to seek counseling and therapy. With a proper understanding of these physiological changes and effective psychological adjustment, it is entirely possible to restore and maintain sufficient sexual interest through counseling and therapy, thus restoring the marital relationship to its former state.

In daily life, middle-aged men should actively address this issue. They should not criticize or avoid their wives' demands, but rather actively find ways to calmly manage the "price scissors" (the gap between income and financial expectations). Specifically, they should pay attention to the following:

Actively communicate with your wife to lay the emotional groundwork: When encountering troubles and sadness, think calmly and avoid carrying a mental burden for too long. Relax and adjust your tense state of mind in a timely manner to alleviate and eliminate anxiety. Do things you enjoy, such as listening to music, participating in group activities, and reading beneficial books, or confide in family and friends. This will improve your mood and gradually reduce sexual repression. To overcome psychological barriers, seek help from a psychologist if necessary.

Actively participate in physical exercise: Consistent and appropriate physical exercise and outdoor activities will benefit you. Maintaining daily exercise can regulate stressful mental work or neurohumoral imbalances. Strive for a regular lifestyle, ensure sufficient sleep, and actively lose weight. Engage in exercises that enhance libido, such as jogging, swimming, and hiking.

Avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits: Avoid unhealthy eating habits, reduce social engagements, avoid excessive alcohol consumption, control your diet, and fully recognize the importance and necessity of quitting smoking. Quit smoking and drinking to eliminate factors that negatively affect libido. You can also eat some medicinal diets that are beneficial for tonifying the kidneys and strengthening yang, or foods rich in cholesterol (such as seafood) and zinc (such as beans). It is important to note that you should not blindly take aphrodisiac drugs, and you should also be mindful of the "moderation" when taking supplements; otherwise, your sexual ability may actually worsen.

If necessary, you should go to the hospital to rule out diseases such as chronic prostatitis, epididymitis, urethritis, or other diseases such as endocrine disorders and various systemic chronic diseases.

Male menopause syndrome

Men entering menopause are in a busy period of life, and self-care during this stage cannot be ignored. Improper management can lead to serious health problems. Male menopause generally begins between the ages of 50 and 60. As brain and physiological functions begin to decline, some men experience symptoms such as palpitations, fatigue, insomnia, dizziness, lower back pain, hot flashes, facial flushing, irritability, and memory loss.

Men with chronic diseases such as hypertension and diabetes, men with unhealthy lifestyles such as smoking, excessive drinking, and a rich nightlife, and men who lack physical exercise and have high work pressure are more likely to enter "male menopause" earlier than other men.

Although male menopause is not as "sudden" as female menopause, men should still actively adjust themselves to safely and smoothly get through this special period.

It is essential to have a clear understanding of your physical and mental health. A comprehensive examination can help identify and treat any existing illnesses. Appropriate physical exercise can also strengthen your constitution, building up your "health bank" to adapt to changes in your physical condition.

Arrange work, study, and rest reasonably, and combine work with rest. Middle-aged men around 50 years old are in a busy period of life, but their energy and physical strength are not as good as before, and they are prone to overworking. Therefore, they should arrange their work and study reasonably, avoid being nervous and chaotic, and avoid doing things beyond their capabilities. This will allow the functions of all parts of the body to operate within an appropriate range, so as to maintain sufficient energy and physical strength to devote to study and work. This is beneficial to physical and mental health.

Strengthen self-care. During menopause, pay special attention to overcoming unhealthy behaviors such as smoking, excessive drinking, and irregular lifestyle. Learn to control your emotions; deal with conflicts and setbacks calmly and peacefully, avoiding anxiety, irritability, and resentment.

Cultivate several healthy hobbies. Actively participate in fitness and recreational activities, such as dancing, calligraphy, painting, and chess. These activities can shift one's attention from personal sensory experiences to a love of life and nature, thereby improving mental state and alleviating some menopausal symptoms.

Deal with menopause properly. Menopause is a natural process and cannot be avoided. Even if obvious symptoms appear, do not worry excessively. As long as you are psychologically prepared and make adjustments, and use some medications under the guidance of a doctor when obvious symptoms appear, most symptoms can be significantly reduced and gradually disappear.