12. Common Misconceptions about Male Sexuality and the Correct Understanding of Masturbation

Myths about men's sexuality

Although sex as a science is recognized and accepted by most people, some misconceptions persist, especially regarding male sexuality. These misunderstandings need to be analyzed and corrected. Below are a few examples:

1. Men who have not undergone circumcision are better able to control ejaculation than those who have. It's believed that the glans penis is more sensitive after circumcision, but in reality, when the penis is fully erect, 80% of the foreskin retracts to the coronal sulcus. Thus, the glans penis, normally covered by the foreskin, is more sensitive than that of circumcised men who have become accustomed to exposure.

2. The larger the penis, the stronger the sexual ability. In fact, as long as the penis size is within the normal physiological range and it can achieve an erection, normal sexual intercourse is possible. Furthermore, female sexual satisfaction is unrelated to penis size; it depends on a variety of factors such as mood, partner, environment, intensity of stimulation, and technique.

3. Various cultural influences impose unique psychological burdens on men, such as the expectation that men should sexually satisfy women. This often leads to sexual fear and anxiety in men. This fear manifests in two ways: first, the fear that frequent intercourse will deplete their energy; and second, the worry that ejaculation will be too rapid, leaving the woman unsatisfied.

4. If a man cannot maintain regular sexual intercourse, especially if he suffers from erectile dysfunction, his penis will excessively atrophy. The fact is, what functions during penile erection is the space that can fill with blood. Unless hormone levels are low, there is no need to create this burden.

5. The misconception that men have a stronger sex drive than women, and that men are never satisfied, may stem from their experiences during puberty. In fact, men do not have a stronger sex drive than women, with only a few exceptions. Most men have the same sex drive as women, but the accumulation of long-term conditioned reflexes has strongly suppressed women's sexual response.

6. Some believe that sexual intercourse is a man's only sexual desire, and that it is the only way for a man to achieve sexual satisfaction. In reality, most middle-aged men desire some form of non-sexual, loving communication. Sometimes, a man's entire need is simply a hug, a kiss, or a conversation. Men also have deeper needs from their partners beyond mere physical desire.

7. Men are always in an active position during sex. Regarding this, Professor Flower of the United States said, "I hope every woman understands that the vast majority of men's sexual desire is aroused by women's love." They greatly welcome women taking the initiative in initiating sexual activity, firstly to increase sexual arousal, and secondly to add variety to a otherwise monotonous sex life where the man is the one initiating. It's only due to women's shyness and fear of rejection that they appear passive.

masturbation

What is masturbation?

In a narrow sense, masturbation refers to touching one's own external genitalia with the hands to achieve psychological satisfaction, thus producing a form of self-gratification. In a broader sense, any form of self-touching or mutual touching to achieve self-gratification and satisfaction can be called masturbation, and it occurs in men, women, and children of all ages. Masturbation can occur in childhood and becomes more common in adulthood.

From the perspective of different stages of human development, masturbation can be divided into masturbation during infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and post-marital masturbation.

In terms of the nature of masturbation, masturbation in toddlers and children is driven by aimless curiosity and is an exploratory behavior. In adolescence and adulthood, however, it is a practical behavior of psychological consciousness, which can be considered a habitual act.

Since masturbation is a form of sexual behavior, it occurs widely and universally. Human sexual impulses are an innate instinct, present even in infancy. Observations show that normal infants begin exploring their bodies around six months after birth, including touching their external genitalia, though this hasn't yet developed into a sensory response. After one year of age, sensations and excitement evoked by touch begin to appear. Simultaneously, stimulation provided by parents through physical contact with their young children can also bring them comfort and satisfaction. As children grow older, the vast and fascinating world, diverse interests, and ever-increasing knowledge are sufficient to provide them with psychological satisfaction, temporarily causing them to forget about behaviors like touching their genitals.

During puberty, the development of the genitals and gonads, along with the secretion of male hormones, increases the intensity of male sexual impulses. To satisfy this need, it is easy for men to engage in a simple, self-indulgent act of masturbation that is not easily detected by others.

After marriage, due to differences in needs between husband and wife, especially since men's demands in this area are often stronger than women's and are not met, they sometimes use this method to make up for their deficiencies.

As for the elderly, many of them are widowed or have very different needs in this area, so they use masturbation to relieve themselves.

According to surveys, almost every man has a history of masturbation at least once. The frequency of masturbation among young people increases dramatically around the beginning of puberty, approximately age 12, with boys accounting for about 21%. It peaks between the ages of 14 and 20, with almost 92% of boys having masturbated at some point. Afterward, the frequency declines until it stabilizes at a relatively fixed frequency of about 2 to 20 times per month.

The specific method of masturbation is to caress the genitals with one's hands or rub the penis with clothing, bedding, or other objects to induce ejaculation, thereby achieving sexual arousal.

Correct view of masturbation

We've now introduced what masturbation is. Now, some people might ask: is masturbation a disease?

We say that occasional, regular, and self-controlled masturbation is not a disease, and it does not cause much harm to a person's physical or mental health because: ① People who masturbate occasionally rarely experience loss of appetite, mental fatigue, dizziness, or weakness in their limbs due to physical exertion. ② People who masturbate occasionally generally have good self-control and will not develop into indiscriminate masturbation, thus avoiding mental distress and self-blame. ③ Masturbating 1-2 times a month will not harm health or significantly deplete one's "vital energy," because the physical exertion from masturbation and the nutrients in the semen are negligible and pose no threat to health. ④ Occasional masturbation is not as likely as frequent masturbation to induce certain urological diseases or cause sexual dysfunction. In particular, occasional masturbation during adolescence has absolutely no relation to future intelligence, achievement, social adaptation, or sexual function.

However, if frequent masturbation becomes a habit, leading to a mental burden that is difficult to break, it is considered abnormal. In severe cases, it may cause psychological abnormalities and sexual dysfunction, affecting physical and mental health.

First, frequent masturbation can cause inner conflict and mental contradictions. Knowing it's bad, people can't break the habit and are afraid of harming their bodies, leading to inner tension and anxiety. After each act of masturbation, they inevitably feel regret, fear, and pessimism. They are constantly caught in the contradiction between the pleasure of sex and the negative consequences it will bring. Over time, this can easily lead to a series of neurological disorders such as depression, memory loss, poor concentration, decreased comprehension, insomnia, excessive dreaming, dizziness, headaches, tinnitus, and palpitations.

Secondly, excessive masturbation can also cause some urogenital system diseases such as frequent urination, post-void dribbling, discomfort in the lower abdomen and perineum, damp and cold scrotum, testicular pain, lower back pain and weakness in the limbs, etc. It can also cause a series of inflammations such as chronic prostatitis, seminal vesiculitis, urethritis, chronic pelvic congestion and varicocele.

Third, excessive and prolonged masturbation can also cause sexual dysfunction in men. Because the stimulation of ejaculation caused by arbitrarily rubbing the penis with the hand is relatively strong, the stimulation received by the penis during normal sexual intercourse is not as strong as that from masturbation, thus leading to ejaculatory dysfunction and infertility. On the other hand, long-term, frequent, and constant masturbation, like sexual intercourse, is an overindulgence. Prolonged and frequent masturbation over-excites the erection and ejaculation centers, causing fatigue. Over time, this leads to a "passive slack" in these two lower sexual centers, shifting from excitation to inhibition, resulting in impotence or weak erections.

Therefore, it is easy to see that occasional masturbation is not considered a disease, and there is no need to add unnecessary mental burden and trouble because of it, while habitual masturbation is a pathological condition. However, both types of masturbation should be overcome through effort.

How to overcome masturbation

The key to overcoming masturbation lies in maintaining a regular lifestyle.

Since masturbation can cause many harms to the body, how can we overcome it?

1. Establish confidence that masturbation can be overcome, and correctly and scientifically understand the negative impact of masturbation on work, study, and physical and mental health. Only by correctly recognizing the harm of masturbation can one actively and proactively change this bad habit, allowing the functions of the nervous and reproductive systems to recover as quickly as possible.

2. Actively and enthusiastically participate in activities, especially legitimate cultural and sports activities. This will not only cultivate your broad interests and hobbies and foster a sense of community, but also make you feel happy and strengthen your will.

3. Maintain a regular lifestyle, go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, and avoid developing the habit of sleeping on your stomach. Avoid stimulating foods such as tobacco, alcohol, and spicy foods; do not read pornographic novels, read obscene books or watch pornographic movies; taking a warm bath or soaking your feet in warm water before bed can often help you fall asleep; avoid being overly excited before bed, do not eat too much at dinner, and do not use overly warm or heavy bedding while sleeping.

4. Pay attention to genital hygiene. Wash frequently to remove irritating substances like smegma. Men with phimosis should consider surgery. Underwear and underpants should also be changed and washed regularly. Underwear and underpants should ideally be made of soft fabric and should not be too tight; a loose, well-fitting fit is best.

5. Establish a correct view of love. Generally speaking, it is best not to talk about love too early during student years, as this can intensify sexual impulses. If not handled properly, it can easily lead to bad habits, resulting in neurological or reproductive dysfunction.

Regarding masturbation in children, parents should first have the necessary knowledge, and secondly, they should pay attention to observing their child's sexual urges. They should understand that this behavior is often unintentional and unconscious. For occasional mistakes by children, parents should avoid scolding them angrily, but rather patiently persuade them and divert their attention. Otherwise, it will not only be difficult to overcome the problem, but will also strengthen this awareness.

For diseases of the nervous, reproductive, or urinary systems caused by masturbation, you should promptly seek diagnosis and treatment at a hospital. In addition, you can take some traditional Chinese medicine under the guidance of a doctor to nourish kidney yang, reduce internal heat, and strengthen essence. Do not delay treatment due to resentment or shame.

In short, the key to overcoming masturbation lies in one's own determination and will, and in one's ability to overcome oneself with correct and comprehensive sexual knowledge, and with an open-minded and positive attitude.

Is nocturnal emission caused by masturbation?

As the testes mature, they continuously produce large quantities of sperm daily, while the seminal vesicles and prostate gland, acting as accessory glands, also secrete fluid constantly. This fluid is seminal plasma, which nourishes and transports sperm. Sperm and seminal plasma are stored separately until ejaculation, at which point they mix together to form semen. When their production reaches a certain level, the brain receives a signal of fullness, awaiting emptying, much like the urge to urinate arises when the bladder is full.

Nocturnal emission usually occurs during dreaming at night. This is because the cerebral cortex is inhibited by sleep and loses control over the lower centers, so the autonomic nervous system spontaneously releases semen. Therefore, nocturnal emission is a type of ejaculation that occurs without sexual intercourse.

Masturbation is also a way to relieve sexual tension, but it usually occurs when the penis is stimulated by hand while the person is awake. Although the methods differ, the result is the same, and there is no connection between the two. Generally, after masturbation, because semen has been expelled, dreams usually do not occur again, so nocturnal emission is not a consequence of masturbation. However, if masturbation is frequent and prolonged, the sexual nerve center may remain in a state of constant excitement, potentially leading to nocturnal emission during sleep.

If a young man experiences nocturnal emission too frequently, occurring every 2-3 days, this is considered abnormal and the cause should be investigated. Common causes are often related to inflammation of the reproductive tract, such as balanitis, urethritis, or prostatitis. In some cases, it may be due to excessive thinking about sexual matters or excessive masturbation, keeping the brain in a state of constant sexual arousal. Alternatively, it could be caused by physical weakness, excessive fatigue, or an imbalance in the brain's regulatory functions.

To alleviate frequent nocturnal emissions, one should first alleviate mental anxieties and avoid carrying a heavy psychological burden because of them. Secondly, wear loose underwear and avoid using overly thick blankets while sleeping, and try to sleep on your side to reduce the chance of penile stimulation and pressure. Additionally, taking some sedative medication before bed can induce protective inhibition in the brain, reducing the nerve impulses that trigger nocturnal emissions. Traditional Chinese medicine such as Jin Suo Gu Jing Wan and Jin Ying Zi Gao can also be taken. With these treatments, most people experiencing nocturnal emissions will see results, and it will not affect their studies or work.